Most couples don't argue about what they're really arguing about. The washing-up, the phone at dinner, whose family gets Christmas — underneath sit the real questions: do you see me, can I rely on you, are we still on the same side? Couples therapy gives both of you a neutral room in which those questions can finally be asked safely.
A couples therapist doesn't referee or take sides. They help you both see the cycle you're caught in — pursue and withdraw, criticise and defend — and interrupt it, so conversations that always ended one way start ending differently. Couples come after an affair, around big decisions like children or relocation, when intimacy has faded, or simply when the same fight has repeated for years. You don't need a crisis to come; earlier is easier.
The couples therapists listed with ABCAP are qualification- and insurance-verified, and their profiles state whether they work with married and unmarried couples, LGBTQ+ partners, and online or in person.
ABCAP is not a regulatory body. Listing in the ABCAP directory is not an endorsement of a therapist's competence, fitness to practise, or conduct. We recommend verifying a therapist's qualifications and professional body membership directly before booking a session.
Yes. Relationships are systems: when one person changes their side of a pattern, the pattern itself changes. Many therapists will happily start with one partner, and a reluctant partner often joins once the process feels less threatening.
Many couples see meaningful change within 10–20 weekly sessions. Some come for a short focused piece of work around one decision or rupture; deeper rebuilding takes longer. You'll review progress together along the way.
Often, yes — with honest work from both people. Therapy structures the stages: managing the immediate crisis, understanding what the affair meant, and deciding — deliberately rather than by default — whether and how to rebuild trust.
Sessions typically cost £60–£90, slightly above individual therapy since sessions often run longer. Weekly or fortnightly is common at the start.